Kristen The Unfastened

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. PLEASE NOTE, THE EVENTS DESCRIBED NEVER HAPPENED, THEY ARE JUST THE RESULT OF MY VIVID IMAGINATION. 

I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH: NOTHING IN THIS INTERVIEW IS REAL!

A lot has been said about Kristen Stewart’s breathtaking performance in Spencer. The research she did, the preparation it took, the physicality she committed to, and, most of all, the ability to ace Princess Diana’s accent. 

But a key detail of the movie went completely unnoticed by the critics: on top of all that, Kristen Stewart also had to master driving on the wrong side of the road. And not in any car, she had to do it on a Porsche. 

Here is the exclusive interview to the driving coach who prepared Kristen for this task. Her name is Susie.

——– O ——-

I met with Susie in a Pub near Cambridge, UK. I reached out to her hoping that she would accept to share a few anecdotes about teaching Kristen to drive a Porsche, like the Brits do. 

She seemed happy to talk about this experience. In her forties, pale skin, and blonde hair, she carries her athletic body with ease. She proudly introduces herself as the founder and owner of “FALSE START”, a driving school in Cambridge, specialized in teaching “WRONG SIDE” driving to non-Commonwealth people. 

I found both her branding choice and mission statement peculiar, to say the least. And I tell her.  She objects: “FALSE START makes me laugh, and it’s a reminder not to take myself too seriously. While stating to teach the WRONG SIDE, takes off the pressure to be always right. I’m more relaxed, plus I noticed that it helps students as well. They come in with the peace of mind of having the possibility to do something “wrong”, without feeling judged.”

She has made her points. 

I also learn that she was born and raised in Cambridge, she always had a passion for driving, and she used to work as a test driver for Williams, the UK racing team. I would describe her as kind, matter-of-fact and funny, when it’s most unexpected; despite her love for sports car, she gives me the impression of being very calm, grounded, and even cautious.  

What follows is Susie’s recollection of her “wrong side” driving class with Kristen…

Of course, I knew who Kristen Stewart was. She walked into my office frisky, like sea breeze. She is not super tall, but she is slender. She must weigh half a pound, but even if she is petite, you can feel a sort of electricity around her. She is one of those people that you miss when they are not with you. You know, those people that everyone waits for impatiently, because when they arrive, something special is going to happen. There are some people who have that gift. My grandma was one of them. 

We make our introduction in the COVID-Era way: eyes smiling above the contour of a mask, elbows pointing at each other and slightly touching, a brief exchange of “nice meeting you”, which we said as we went outside and hopped on the car. 

How did she look? 

Well, she looked the way everyone would in a similar circumstance: nervous. And I don’t say it, because she was about to drive in a totally different way, but because she was about to start a project she cared so much about and for which the result was still unknown. Every outcome was possible. Which is exciting but also very scary. 

I had received the screenplay beforehand, so I knew what vehicle had been chosen, the moments she would have driven, where, with which emotions, moreover, I was given the soundtrack that would go along with the rides. 

As I do at the beginning of all my classes, I start from the basics: the vehicle.

“Look, Kristen, I don’t know what kind of car you usually drive but a Porsche 911 is a marvelous sports car, it roars. It’s a car though, that can slip from under your butt if you are not careful. You slightly touch the accelerator, and it jumps ahead. It’s got amazing breaks and it feels as if it’s gripped to the road. So, it’s a car you can ask a lot from: you can push it through extreme situations, because it can take them, but you need to be able to handle it. This model is Cabrio, too, so the thrill and the sense of freedom it provides is even greater, but it exposes you completely. Most of all, since it’s so beautiful and so admired, if it crashes, it’s a car that makes the news. Rest assured that there will always be someone who makes fun of people who crash a Porsche. They are those who are jealous because they can’t afford it.” 

In saying all that, she was listening carefully, and I got the impression, she knew exactly what I was talking about – her deep green eyes processing my words, while her fingers were on the mask, pinching over where her lips would have been, as to trace the direction of a thought. 

At that point, it occurred to me that Kristen Stewart is not that different from a Porsche: quick off the mark, powerful, it only takes her a small impulse, and she goes all for it. In addition, she’s got eyes on her all the time and if she “crashes”, they are all there pointing at her ready to judge – though, I don’t think she cares about it. 

Truth to be told, being the instructor, not to mention the passenger in the vehicle, I was a bit worried of the way she would have approached the training. From her interviews, I learned that she is so much looking forward to experiencing things for the first time while shooting, that she would learn her lines only as much as to slightly remember them and she would rather reach for them on set, so that she won’t miss the feeling of living things for the first time. 

As you can imagine, it could be dangerous to follow the same approach when driving a Porsche.

So, I told her: “I’m sorry to overstep my role, honey, but I heard you saying in different interviews that you really crave for a “first time” feeling while you film, so that those moments can become your own memories. I just wanted to remind you that we have the power of 350 horses under our asses, so we don’t want that your memories on the set of Spencer will be crashing against a tree or entering the diner the way Blues Brothers would. You want the people in the restaurant to look surprised because they see Princess Diana walking the door… not because they have a heart attack as she is making her way through the window! 

Also, we don’t want those poor kids to have terror written on their face when you speed through the England countryside pumping “All I Need is a Miracle” at full volume. Otherwise, the only miracle they would be screaming for is staying alive! 

Driving a Porsche the “wrong side” is not something you – nor anyone from the crew – would want to experience for the first time while on camera.”

I’m pretty sure she was entertained by my passionate way of being protective of her… and of myself. She paused a for a second and with the most calm and matter-of-fact voice, she addressed me with a friendly: “Dude” and cheerfully explained that her perspective had actually changed. She teased me saying that I wouldn’t have to worry because now the joy she finds in deeply absorbing a part or a skill, until she owns it and can express it in her own way, is greater than the pleasure she got from leaving the materials not heavily rehearsed. There are things that can be left uncovered and others that need to be deeply absorbed, because only then they are truly yours and you can deliver them with authenticity. So, she concluded, this was the right time for someone to be her Porsche instructor. 

I was struck by her awareness, and relieved, I must say. 

Glad she fixed my concern, she was about to turn the keys when I remind her to fasten her seatbelt. Then she unexpectedly stops, turns to me, and makes eye contact in the most serious, professional, and maybe even a bit amused way, and says she is not going to wear it. She explains that for Princess Diana, driving was the only moment of freedom and release, where she was not trapped by anyone or anything, so, she insisted, there was no way she was going to restrain her and deny her this moment. Her eyes now sparkling with passion and with even more amusement.

I return her serious look and tell her that the way she fights for her character is impressive: “Ok, I’m fine with that, but I have the feeling that it’s also you who can’t stand to be buckled up, isn’t it? And I get it… how can anyone ever keep you tied? So, going against any driving teacher principles, and the law, let’s do this with no seatbelt. Let’s pretend that at the time it was not mandatory yet.”

I pause for a bit and continue: “I remember reading at some point in the script that Diana tells Maggie that she imagines what she will be called in the future. The one word that would be used to describe her. Well, I’m playing the same game with you now, and if you must know, for me, from now on you will be Kristen The Unfastened!”

We finally start driving. Needless to say, she’s a pro. Maybe there were a couple of turns taken too sharp and a few times where she might have been leaning too much towards the other lane, but all in all she was great.

The fluid, crisp, and sometimes too effervescent, drive around the roads of Norfolk stimulates an engaged conversation between the two of us about Spencer and what this project means to her. It’s beautiful to hear her talk so passionately about her job, she fires up when she describes why she loves it so much but, luckily, her excitement doesn’t affect her reflexes at all. Indeed, she expertly avoids a car that completely missed a STOP and : “You motherfu****! Get out of the way, you Muppet!” comes out of her mouth in the most elegant, perfect, royal accent!  

I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH: NOTHING IN THIS INTERVIEW IS REAL!